Marriage In Crisis You Say?
Many experience marriage in crisis and the cliché “you don’t know what you’ve got until it’s gone “is true especially when something goes awry. This is a common scenario in many types of relationships, especially marriages. It might seem like one day you and your spouse are solid and happy and the next day you have a marriage in crisis.
Obviously, it doesn’t really happen that quickly but it can seem to sneak up on you and you can be taken off guard. This is a tough thing to be faced with if you’ve always thought that things were going well. Don’t give up or get overwhelmed, just because your marriage is treading on the edge of a cliff doesn’t mean it will go over. It’s never too late to pull it back from the edge. You can even make it stronger and happier than it was before, if you know how.
Don’t over think things, just remember that everyone wants to feel loved, understood and appreciated. If you really want your marriage to be as strong, or even stronger than it was before, one very simple thing to do is to show your spouse how much you appreciate them and all they do. This doesn’t have to be some grand gesture, sometimes just a brief hug and kiss is enough, sometimes you can just tell them ‘thanks’.
Whatever it is, if it’s coming from your heart they will feel the love and understanding that we all need to feel. More often than not they will start returning the favor and telling you how much they appreciate all that you do. A great way to show your spouse how much you care and how much you appreciate them is to make their life easier. For example, you can tell your spouse that you appreciate them but if you then leave a big mess for them to pick up do you really think that they will feel like you appreciate them? No, of course not because your actions are showing them that you don’t.
If you really appreciated them you wouldn’t just tell them you would show them by trying to do things to make their life easier, not harder. Remember, actions speak louder than words. You have to be willing to keep an open mind and be willing to honestly listen when your spouse tries to tell you something. So many times we shut down when our spouse tries to explain something to us. Most of us do that because we feel like when they have a problem it’s our fault. That when our spouse is talking about how tired they are or all the work they’ve done they really are saying “if you would help more I wouldn’t be so tired”.
We aren’t hearing what they are saying we are hearing our own feelings of insecurity or guilt. If that’s the case you need to figure out if your guilt is justified. Like I explained above, if your actions aren’t showing your spouse that you care than it’s likely you know you could do more and you aren’t. If so, why not? Just learning to appreciate each other can do wonders for a marriage in crisis. If we remember that all we, and our spouses, really want is to feel loved and appreciated things can be so much easier.