Relationship Help Needed
If you’re thinking to yourself, “relationship help needed” then, you probably do. When things start to go south in a relationship, it seems that the last person you want to go to for help is also the one you should be talking to the most, your partner. Communication is essential in any relationship and when it breaks down it can sometimes be hard to get back but it’s not impossible.
Your To Do List
Start by making a list of the things in your relationship that are bothering you. No matter what it is, be honest and don’t just make it all about the other person. Relationships take two to work or not work and if you are feeling bad about your relationship, so is your partner. When you’ve made your list, invite your partner to discuss the problems you’ve outlined.
Express How You Feel Don’t Blame Your Partner
During your talk, keep in mind to never, ever lay blame on the other person. Never start a sentence with, ‘YOU’ do this or ‘YOU’ do that. Start your sentences with, ‘I FEEL’ this and ‘I FEEL’ that. The only thing laying blame will accomplish is making your partner feel they have to defend themselves, probably start a fight and defeat the whole purpose of trying to improve your relationship. So be open and honest about your concerns but never be hurtful.
Make sure to ask your partner how they feel about the direction your relationship is heading. Find out what they think they need and/or want from you to make your relationship successful and then voice your own concerns, wants and needs.
Time To Call A Counselor
If talking things through doesn’t seem to help, then it may be time to consult a relationship help needed’ professional. That doesn’t mean your mother or your brother or your sister, aunt, uncle or cousin. Keep things between you private, the less input you get from biased sources the easier it will be to resolve the aspects of your relationship that need to be resolved. Families tend to take sides and that will only stoke the fire.
When you’ve talked about things and feel you both are ready to start seeing a relationship counselor, if you do, make a list (or take the one you’ve already made) of things to discuss. The relationship counselor will help you both sort things out and keep them in perspective. They know the right questions to ask and what buttons to push to get you thinking and can keep the discussion heading in the right direction. They can provide objectivity as well.
If your relationship is still beyond repair, try to be civil and find a way to reach an amicable agreement. A counselor might help with this as well. Respect each other’s opinions and feelings and choose words carefully when speaking about one another. Be open minded towards the situation – if no one budges on certain matters, then it will lead to a stalemate. Move on from the negative and try to focus on the positive moments – after all, there was something that initially made you both fall in love.
Finally, find ways to heal and move forward with your life. Don’t be afraid of change or new beginnings – even if it’s a difficult or unfamiliar process. Speak to your friends, family, and trusted professionals if you find yourself stuck. Self-care should be top priority; make sure to take the time to focus on yourself and do things that make you happy. It’s important to remember that you are strong enough to overcome whatever situation comes your way.
A relationship counselor will give you exercises, or homework, to teach yourselves the art of communication outside his or her office. Follow what he or she tells you closely. Who knows, you may begin to have so much fun learning how to communicate with each other some of the problems your were facing may just fade away. It’s all perception and if your perception changes and you are seeing things from both sides instead of just your own, then maybe you could stop thinking ‘ relationship help needed’. No matter what the situation is, there are always solutions that will help you out. Never give up.
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